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ā€¢3 min read

I Found My People

lifeuniversityfriendship

it took most of the year but i can now confidently say: i have friends.

not just "people i sit near in lectures" but actual, real, hang-out-outside-of-class friends.

it only took me eight months. speed run.

how it happened

it wasn't one dramatic moment. it was small things building up:

  • saying hi in tutorials consistently
  • actually staying after class for five minutes
  • joining the discord server (and actually posting)
  • going to that one hackathon (shared trauma bonds people)
  • showing up to study sessions even when i didn't need to

turns out, friendship at 17-18 is basically proximity + time + vulnerability.

my people

there's a small group of us now. maybe five people? we're not a "friend group" with a name or anything cringe like that. we're just... people who like each other.

we have a group chat that's 40% memes, 30% assignment complaints, 20% "who's going to the lecture", and 10% actual meaningful conversation.

i love it.

what we have in common

  • we all chose CS for some version of "i like making things"
  • we all have imposter syndrome (this comes up frequently)
  • we all have that one project we're never going to finish
  • we all think the other person is smarter (it's mutual delusion and it's fine)

what we don't have in common

  • music taste (our spotify blends are chaos)
  • sleep schedules (one of us is a morning person??)
  • editor preference (vim vs vscode debates are intense)
  • opinions on tabs vs spaces (we do not discuss this anymore)

the differences make it interesting.

why this matters

i spent a lot of high school being the "tech person" in my friend groups. which was nice! but also lonely sometimes. no one to talk to about that cool algorithm you learned. no one who understands why you've been staring at a screen for three hours.

now i have people who get it. people who send interesting links in the group chat. people who will rubber duck debug with me even when the bug is embarrassing.

it's really nice.

advice for anyone struggling

  • you don't have to find your best friends immediately
  • clubs/groups/servers help (lower barrier than cold-approaching strangers)
  • be the one who initiates sometimes
  • show up consistently (this is the biggest thing)
  • be yourself even when it's awkward (the right people will like that version of you)

the unexpected benefit

having friends who are also in your major means:

  • study buddies
  • notes when you miss class
  • emotional support during exam season
  • someone to complain to who actually understands

i recommend it.

heading to a study session now. we're definitely going to study and definitely not just hang out for two hours. definitely.