I Survived Semester One

i did it. semester one is over. i'm still alive, still enrolled, and i haven't completely failed anything.

this feels like an appropriate time to be dramatic about it.

the numbers

assignments submitted: 12
tutorials attended: 24
lectures watched at 2x speed: too many
coffees consumed: don't ask
mental breakdowns: 3 (relatively mild)
new friends made: 4 (quality over quantity)

what i learned academically

programming fundamentals (apparently i had gaps), calculus (pain but necessary), discrete math (actually kind of beautiful?), and the foundations of computer science.

the biggest academic revelation: there's so much i don't know. like, exponentially more than i thought.

before uni i assumed i was maybe 30% of the way to being a "real" developer. now i realize i'm probably at 5% and that's generous.

this is somehow both terrifying and exciting.

what i learned about myself

i work better in the morning (who even am i?)
i need deadlines or nothing happens
i actually like the hard stuff
asking for help is not a weakness
sleep is not optional (my 3am self disagrees but she's wrong)

the social experiment

making friends as an adult is weird. you can't just play with someone on the playground and become best friends forever.

but somehow i found my people. we sit together in tutorials. we complain about assignments in the group chat. we study at the same library table even though we're all wearing headphones and not talking.

it works.

highlights and lowlights

best moment: getting 85% on my final programming assignment. the improvement from 60% felt like a victory lap.

worst moment: the week where i had three assignments due in four days. i still have flashbacks.

most surprising: realizing i like theoretical comp sci. algorithms are my nemesis but also... fascinating?

most consistent: imposter syndrome. still going strong.

what's next

summer break, but make it productive. i'm planning to:

work on a personal project (for real this time)
learn something new that's not required
maybe touch grass occasionally

also i need to not forget everything i learned. apparently that's a risk.

final thoughts

four months ago i walked into the wrong lecture hall and thought everyone was smarter than me. now i walk into the right lecture hall (usually) and i still think everyone is smarter than me. but now i'm okay with it.

growth isn't about being the best. it's about being better than yesterday.

(that was cheesy but i'm leaving it in.)

now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to sleep for approximately 72 hours.