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ā€¢3 min read

I Turn 21 and Have Thoughts

lifebirthdayreflection

i'm officially 21 years old.

not a teenager anymore. a full adult. in my twenties. this is fine.

the math

at 21, i have:

  • a degree
  • a job at a frontier AI lab
  • lived in three countries (philippines, australia, now america)
  • survived approximately 21 years of existence

when i was 10, freshly moved to sydney and still learning australian slang, i thought 21-year-olds were basically old. fully formed. knew everything.

spoiler: i don't know everything. i don't even know most things.

what i thought 21 would look like

probably: living at home, maybe in grad school, definitely not employed at a real job.

the path my life took is not what i imagined. it's better in some ways, harder in others.

the unexpected parts

living alone abroad: didn't see that coming. (again.)

working in AI at this moment in history: timing is wild.

still feeling like a kid: i thought adults felt like adults. they do not.

what i've learned in 21 years

  1. things work out, usually in unexpected ways
  2. take chances even when they seem unrealistic
  3. imposter syndrome doesn't go away but you can work with it
  4. the internet is a good place to learn things
  5. call your parents more (and your lola)
  6. sleep matters
  7. boba is essential (fight me)
  8. writing helps you think
  9. asking for help is strength, not weakness
  10. nothing is as serious as it feels in the moment

the next decade

my twenties. apparently these are formative.

goals (loosely):

  • get really good at something
  • build meaningful relationships
  • figure out what kind of life i want
  • contribute to work that matters
  • travel more
  • maybe relax occasionally
  • finally visit iloilo again (it's been too long)

today specifically

i'm spending my birthday in san francisco. it's rainy (of course). i have cake (ube flavored, because sometimes you miss home). my parents called at a reasonable hour (for them, 6am sydney time - dedicated).

no big party. just a quiet acknowledgment that time passes and we're still here.

the philosophical bit

21 is just a number. the sun doesn't care that i orbited it 21 times. my atoms are the same as yesterday.

but milestones are useful for reflection. for noticing how far you've come. for resetting.

so: happy birthday to me. here's to another trip around the sun.

treated myself to fancy boba. this is what adulthood looks like.